(Just FYI, the text bellow was supposed to be the description on instagram post, but it seems there is a character limitation on there so here’s the full version as i wanted to share on the moment)

So i’ve turned out 32yo yesterday, it’s probably time to grow up, leave some things behind and move forward and draw some characters i wasn’t able to before…

I had this weird dream last night,with this big lie within, (i won’t share more of it, coz it was really personal) guess that’s why i finally decided to draw Kaori.

You probably don’t know (well you definitely don’t, how could you) but i’ve got quite the number of sketch of her, but was never happy with the results, because you know… I just wanted them to be perfect.

You know about my love for Sakura-chan, well here’s her serious contender, in fact Kao-chan is probably more important to me ‘coz there are really few characters that made me cry, and she’s the only one who succeed each times… Cried so much the first time i watched Kimiuso, i thought I won’t when i’ll watch it again, well I cried even more ^^’
Not because of sadness, just because her goodbye message is really beautiful and surprisingly so human. So she may be not the waifu, but Kaori is definitely the character i feel the most close by.

Well, don’t misunderstand, i’m not doomed by terminal illness, in fact my health is pretty good (and that is really weird looking at the way i’m living) and this is not a goodbye message. It’s just that as someone getting older, i’m wondering about what will remain when i’ll be gone.
I probably won’t have kids (like a particuliar 14yo girl who passed away) which is (in my opinion as a single person) the easiest way, you know, the living legacy stuff ; to leave a trace behind. and won’t end in a couple, so that’s not how i’ll leave a trace behind.

Has she said « Was i able to live in someone heart ? Will someone remember remember me at least a little ? »
The fear of death, being forgotten. It’s really such a selfish desire… But i’m pretty sure that what make us human, living.

That may sounds sad, but the things that hit me in Kao-chan last message is the hope to be succesfull in being remembered, so no, defenitely not sad, just hope. And despite of that, this is this particuliar message that made her succeed, that will make her live forever in my heart, that make her important, and so human.

That’s why she had to be perfect. So i thought. This one is not perfect, maybe i could have work more on, get better gradients, there always stuff that can be better anyway, but right now, she’s perfect imo, just some rough brushes strokes is how i wanted to picture her as i woke up this morning.

Welllllll… How weird it is to be so moved on by fictionnals characters right ?
Trully, if Kaori i disputing the number 1 spot to favourite fictionnal character with Sakura, that’s because both of them really had an impact on who i am.
One of them gave me that will to create, the other helped me to understand why.

We artists have this particuliar chance to try to reach someone feelings, by telling stories, creating pictures, musics and other stuffs i’m not thinking of.
I’m pretty happy to think that my art (even if it’s worth what it is, and even if there is millions people way more talented that i am at picturing emotions and telling stories) will be my legacy.
Don’t forget that in every creations, whatever it is, there is a thing that the creator wanted to share, a thing that may resonate in someone heart somewhere, and if i may touch your heart in some way, then i’ll leave something behind.
That may sounds cheesy but that’s the most sincer thing that ol’ 32yo lad wisdom can give you.
Let’s hope i will be able to do so one day 😀

To finish, thank you if you’ve read all this, you trully deserve a medal :p (here you go > )